i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
someone owes me an orgasm
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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