I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
