i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
