i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
