We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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