I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
