census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
3 2 1 whiskey
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
