bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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