I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize