suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
