OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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