wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
