zippers are such a cool invention
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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