Apparently you make a good broom.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
