K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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