He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize