i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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