I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
