can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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