I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
