if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
