Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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