Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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