thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
