But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize