ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
