sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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