you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
