is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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