got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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