never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
