What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
