I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
