We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
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