What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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