I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
my liver is dry heaving
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
