you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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