I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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