Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
