I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
