I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
