somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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