THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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