Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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