I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
