In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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