she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
