found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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