The maid of honor just puked.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i need some magic done to my vagina
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
