so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
