Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
