According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
