I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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