You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
