no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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