I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
