just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
