FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
