dude i'm inner monologue high
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
