If i come over, it means nothing
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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