Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
where does the pee come out of this thing
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
