haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
