STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
