Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
