Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
