Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
